Esme Rose · The lyric archive

Seven Deadly Spells

Shadow work, seven songs, and the parts of ourselves we were taught to hide.

7 tracks · Lyrics & song meanings

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Track 01

A Shadow Gospel

Behind the song · In Esme’s words

A Shadow Gospel is spellwork dressed in religious language. I grew up with Christianity pushed around me through C of E schools, but it was never something I simply inherited or accepted. So the churches, crosses, sermons and heresy in this song are mostly metaphor and wordplay. I’m taking that language apart and using it to explore the parts of ourselves we’re often taught to fear, hide or call wrong.

That’s really the heart of Seven Deadly Spells. I took the idea of the seven deadly sins and looked at them through shadow work instead. What if these things aren’t simply bad? What if they’re human parts of us that need understanding, listening to and learning how to wield? A Shadow Gospel is about stepping into that darker space without shame, finding what’s useful there, and turning what was labelled a weakness into something you can actually use as a strength.

Lyrics

In the hush of stained glass longing We murmur prayers unwritten Not for heaven's mercy calling But for truth forbidden

We praise the shadow gospel in whispers undenied Our hymns are rotted heavens where faith and dark coincide Holy water, blackened pages, blessed a cross turned to dust We rise from pious cages to witching memory and trust

Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh

Choirs in silence, saints in stone Hear the sermons burn to bone Crosses crack, the altar bleeds We trade our vows for broken creeds

Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh

No absolution waits for me Only the fire of heresy The bells are tolling, midnight clear A darker gospel pulls us near

Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh, hey Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh, hey Faith to ash, ash to flame Flame to void Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh, hey Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh, hey

Track 02

Blood & Fire

Behind the song · In Esme’s words

Blood & Fire is about taking the things that have marked me and refusing to treat them like damage I need to hide. The blood is everything that runs deep, instinct, history, anger, desire, the parts of me that feel almost built in. The fire is what I do with it. The line ‘scars don’t fade, they learn to speak’ is really the centre of the song for me. I’m not trying to erase what hurt, I’m letting it have a voice and turning it into something I can actually use.

Within Seven Deadly Spells, the album keeps coming back to the idea that the darker parts of us aren’t automatically bad just because we’ve been taught to fear them. Pain, rage, hunger, pride, desire, all of it can either run us or teach us something. Blood & Fire is about letting those things into the circle, looking at them properly, and using them as fuel. Not pretending the scars never happened, but learning what they can become.

Lyrics

ooh, ooh, oooo

ahhh, ooh, oooo

Blood runs deep, Fire don't sleep, Scars don't fade they learn to speak

Red in the river, smoke in my lungs Chanting a curse with a silver tongue Ash on my hands, moon in my eye Witch born, flame sworn, never die

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm

Blood and fire, blood and fire Mark me now, take me higher Scars that sing, scars that scream Walked the dark, broke the dream

Oh, oh, blood and fire, blood and fire Oh, oh, blood and fire, blood and fire

Bones in a circle, candlelight low What I gave, they'll never know Pain like a prayer under my skin The spell begins, let it in

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm

Blood and fire, blood and fire Mark me now, take me higher Scars that sing, scars that scream Walked the dark, broke the dream

Oh, oh, blood and fire, blood and fire Oh, oh, blood and fire, blood and fire

ooooh, ooohhh,

oh, ooooh

Track 03

Devil Made Me Do It

Behind the song · In Esme’s words

Devil Made Me Do It is about temptation, shame and the idea that wanting something somehow makes you bad. The devil in this song isn’t a literal character, he’s the excuse we’ve been given for the parts of ourselves we’re told we shouldn’t want to admit to. Pleasure, desire, curiosity, appetite. I’m playing with all that religious language and turning it back around. The important moment for me is when the devil offers pleasure and I answer, ‘Mine.’ It stops being about blame and becomes about owning my choices.

That’s where it fits into Seven Deadly Spells. The album keeps asking what happens when you stop treating the so-called sins as things to bury and start looking at what they’re actually trying to tell you. Desire isn’t automatically corruption, pleasure isn’t automatically shame, and temptation can sometimes just be a sign that there’s a part of you asking to be understood. This one is about taking that shadow, looking it straight in the face, and deciding for yourself what belongs to you instead of letting someone else name it sinful.

Lyrics

Mm-mm, mm-mm Mm-mm, mm-mm Mama said, "Don't talk to snakes" But hell, they speak so sweet

Said, "Don't dance with what tempts you" But, baby, look at my feet Everything I ever wore Fit better than my Sunday dress

God forgives but not for free And I don't pay in less The devil made me do it, but I liked it Did it twice just to be sure I spiced it

You call it wrong, I call it right I ain't changing, I'll abide, I'll abide, I'll abide, I'll abide, I'll abide, Your preacher don't dance, but I bet he dreams

I've seen that halo with the seams You pray in silk, I pray in sweat Guess whose god ain't called me yet The devil made me do it, but I liked it (but I liked it)

Said if sin's a song, then I've piped it (piped it) You call it shame, I call it style I've been burning for a while He said, "Baby, come on down,"

And I said, "Show me what's divine" He said, "Pleasure," He said, "Oils" I said, "Mine"

(Whistle)

The devil made me do it, but I liked it (I liked it)

Did it twice just to be sure I spiced it You call it sin, I call it free Ain't no heaven built for me He said Hallelujah, I liked it

He said hallelujah, I liked it He said hallelujah

(Whistle)

I've been burning for a while

Mm-mm, Mm-mm, mm-mm Mm-mm, mm-mm Mm-mm, mm-mm

Track 04

Fuck Being A Princess

Behind the song · In Esme’s words

Fuck Being A Princess is about rejecting the version of womanhood that asks me to be pretty, quiet, agreeable and easy to handle. The princess is that polished little box, smile, sit still, close your mouth, behave. The witch is the opposite. She gets to be loud, scarred, angry, sexual, difficult, powerful and completely her own. So when I say I’d rather be a witch, I’m choosing the messy, honest version of myself over the one that looks good from the outside.

Within Seven Deadly Spells, it’s another piece of the same shadow work. The song plays with ideas like purity, sin, prayer, saints and sinners, but they’re metaphors rather than a religious statement. It’s asking why traits like anger, pride, rebellion or wanting power are so quickly treated as ugly, especially in women. Instead of cutting those parts out, I’m bringing them into the spell, understanding them and using them. The princess behaves. The witch knows herself.

Lyrics

Mm-mm, mm-mm Mm-mm, mm-mm

Ooh They said, "Smile," they said, "Sit still Wear your lace, swallow your will Cross your legs, close your mouth Be the pretty thing they talk about" (ooh)

Well, bless your crown, baby, bless your pearls I ain't built for those kinds of whirls Keep your castle, keep your king I got fire and a goddamn swing (ah)

Fuck being a princess, I'd rather be a witch Trade that throne for a flame and a twitch You got rules, I got roots You wear flats, I wear boots

Fuck being a princess, I'd rather be a witch Spit that curse, make the heavens glitch You want calm, I want storm I crack bones just to be reborn (ooh)

Your fairy tales don't fit my scars I don't need a crown to touch the stars I'll kiss the dark, I'll bless the pain My kind don't die, we just change our name

Fuck being a princess, I'd rather be a witch Light my heart like a serving pitch You get pearls, I got smoke You say pray, I say provoke

Fuck being a princess, I'd rather be a witch Dance in the ashes, stitch by stitch You preach pure, I preach sin I rise wild from my own sin

Mmmm

Who told you soft was holy? (You did) Who said quiet wins? (You did) Who built thrones for men alone? (You did) Who burns us when we grin? (You did)

Fuck being a princess, I'd rather be a witch Trade that crown for a curse and a stitch You want pure, I want power You play safe, I bloom sour

Fuck being a princess, I'd rather be a witch You bleed my truth, every scratch, every itch You want grace, I want grit You wear glass, I throw it

Fuck being a princess, Oh, I'd rather be a witch Raise your hands, make 'em twitch The saints all hide, the sinners dance We found god in the devil's grin

We don't bow, we multiply We don't bow, we multiply We don't bow, we multiply We don't bow, we multiply

Track 05

Hallelujah I Refuse Ya

Behind the song · In Esme’s words

Hallelujah I Refuse Ya is about refusing the rules and labels that were pushed onto me before I was old enough to decide whether I believed any of them. The religious language is deliberately playful, bowing, praying, hymns, preachers, salvation, but underneath it is really about finding my own voice and refusing to squeeze myself into somebody else’s idea of what is good, pure or acceptable. The ‘sacred cage’ and ‘borrowed truth’ are anything I’ve been told I should accept without questioning.

Within Seven Deadly Spells, this is the refusal part of the shadow work. Before I can understand the things I’ve been taught to call sinful, I have to stop automatically judging them by somebody else’s rules. Anger, desire, pride, darkness, fire, none of them need cleansing just because they make someone uncomfortable. The spell here is breaking those old tools apart, looking at myself without that filter, and deciding what those parts of me actually mean and how I want to use them.

Lyrics

Hmmm, hmmmm, mmm

They told me to bow, to fold, to pray But I found my voice in the darker way Your holy chains, they never fit true So I broke them apart just to sing to you

Hallelujah, I refuse ya Your sacred cage, your borrowed truth Hallelujah, I refuse ya I found my gospel in my own abuse

Mama said white, but my soul wore black Every hymn you gave, I gave it back No preacher's hand can cleanse this fire I was never built for your choir

Hallelujah, I refuse ya Your silver crown, your paper rules Hallelujah, I refuse ya I found salvation in breaking your tools, oooooh

Hallelujah, I refuse ya, ahhh Hallelujah, I refuse ya

Track 06

Your God Won't Save You

Behind the song · In Esme’s words

Your God Won’t Save You is about stepping somewhere the usual rules don’t work anymore. The woods, the earth, the blood, the shadows are all part of that spellwork language. Once you cross into that space, a prayer, a preacher or a book can’t do the work for you. You have to face what’s there yourself. The “God” in the title is less about attacking religion and more about the idea that you can hand your fear, guilt or darkness over to something else and expect it to disappear.

Within Seven Deadly Spells, this is one of the darker pieces of the shadow work. It’s about going far enough into yourself that there’s nowhere left to hide behind what you’ve been told is right, wrong, holy or sinful. The earth and the dark become almost characters of their own, forcing you to look properly at what’s underneath. No absolution, no easy cleansing, just you, the shadow, and whatever truth is waiting there.

Lyrics

You crossed the line where the wild things crawl Where the trees lean in and the nightbirds call The preacher's words don't carry weight When the ground itself decides your fate

Every prayer you whisper turns to smoke And the silence laughs at the vows you spoke

Your God won't save you around here Every shadow's a mouth, every voice unclear The earth drinks blood and it tastes like fear Yeah, your God won't save you around here

The bells don't ring and the cross hangs low The river runs black where the lost souls go You can hide your eyes, you can bow your head But the living walk closer with the hands of the dead

Every hymn you hum just fades away And the dark keeps tally of the debts you pay

Your God won't save you around here Every rustle's a warning, every breath sincere The ground splits open just to make it clear Yeah, your God won't save you around here

Ooh, the sky won't hear your cries Ahh, the truth wears a thousand eyes You feel her hand when the night turns still And you'll know right then, she's come to kill

Your God won't save you around here Not the cross, not the book, not the holy spear The dark runs deeper than it first appears Yeah, your God won't save you around here

Track 07

Sinner

Behind the song · In Esme’s words

Sinner is probably the most charged song on the album. It comes from being exhausted by other people’s bullshit, especially the gap between what we’re expected to look like socially and how people actually behave when nobody’s watching. We perform goodness, kindness, morality, success and virtue, while hiding addiction, anger, sex, greed, prejudice, debt, dishonesty and everything else that doesn’t fit the version of ourselves we put on display. I’m not pretending I’m somehow above any of that. The point is almost the opposite. I’m just refusing to play the game where we hide our own mess and then point at somebody else and call them the sinner.

Within Seven Deadly Spells, this is shadow work with its teeth out. We all have wants, contradictions, ugly thoughts, impulses and behaviours that don’t fit neatly inside what society calls acceptable. Pretending they aren’t there doesn’t make us better people, it just makes us less honest about ourselves. Sinner is me dragging that shadow into daylight and saying the quiet part out loud. I’d rather understand what’s actually inside me than build a polished version of myself and use it to judge everybody else. That’s the spell in this one: less shame, less pretending, and a lot more fucking honesty.

Lyrics

Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm

Your priest fucks kids, but I'm the sinner Your preacher's on Grindr, your mom's on Tinder Your president's coked up, your king wears lace Your queen's got Botox that can't hold her face You pray for the poor, then raise the rent You buy new tits, but can't pay the debt You post black squares, hashtag "change" But cross the street when a man looks strange

I am the curse you carved in stone The voice you fear when you're alone I mirror your saints, your saints grow thinner You sin like gods, yet call the witch a sinner

Your therapist cheats, your pastor lies Your diet pill kills, but your fat still thrives Your influencer's broke, your guru's fake Your neighbor snorts lines off a wedding cake Your cops shoot kids, your judges drink Your charities steal, but your brands stay pink You pledge to the flag while you bomb new lands And cry cancel culture when it bites your hands

Your vegan eats steak when the lights go out Your senator jerks with a noose and a pout Your "God is love", but your fists say hate Your church got rich while the kids got raped You clap for the nurse, but you cut her pay You post "be kind", but you scream all day You want clean air, but you drive three cars You scroll through grief for the dopamine stars

Mmmm, mmmm

Your heaven's a scam, your hell's right here You mask your shame with a filtered mirror And me? I just say the shit out loud I'm the witch they burn, but I'll hex this crowd

In Esme’s words

A final note

Seven Deadly Spells came out of shadow work. I wrote it from the parts of myself I was still trying to understand, the anger, desire, grief, pride, doubt, all the things that are easier to hide than sit with. This album was never about pretending to be good. It was about being honest enough to look at what lives underneath, and letting those parts speak before the world tells me what they mean.

What happened after it came out became part of that lesson too. The album found its way into charts, streams and downloads in a way I never expected, then it was reported, taken down, stolen, re-uploaded and reproduced by people who wanted a piece of it without understanding where it came from. That hurt, but it also taught me a lot. About ownership. About resilience. About what people do when something real reaches them. It reminded me that truth has a strange way of surviving, even when people try to bury it.

So this album still feels like shadow work to me, not just in the writing, but in everything that came after. It asked me to keep my voice, keep learning, and keep choosing what is mine. If these songs found something in you, the messy parts, the hidden parts, the parts still becoming, then they did what they were meant to do.

Thank you for listening.

Esme Rose

Seven Deadly Spells — Lyrics & Meanings

Seven Deadly Spells

A Shadow Gospel

Blood & Fire

Devil Made Me Do It

Fuck Being A Princess

Hallelujah I Refuse Ya

Your God Won't Save You

Sinner

A final note

Availability